New Years.

I've felt recently that life is passing me by. And by recently, I mean quite a bit in the last 4 to 6 months.

This really sucks because I haven't hit my mid-life yet. I can't have a crisis!
[And to those of you who talk to me; one in particular; yes, you, you know who you are- no, this isn't the reason I've been acting weird.]

However, this being the last day of the year [and last two hours of said year], I just feel like.. I dunno.
Like the clock is ticking and time's flying by while I sit here doing all of absolutely NOTHING in my individual cell, where I'm slowly dying.

2010 will supposedly bring new promises of happiness. But really, it's hard to imagine.

In the 90's, there was the Y2K "scare" [written "scare" because it was really a cult terror; much like 2012] that left people wondering what would happen next. And I'm sure none of them imagined the events that would take place from the first of January in 2000 to the thirty-first of December in 2009.
I guess my point is that 2010 is just as weird and futuristic to us as Y2K was to the generation before us.

Adding on to this, however, Y2K and its uncertainty really gave people this new glance into reality. And I'm sure everyone has it once in their life.
Some people attribute it to a near-death experience, and some people just have too much time on their hands.
This feeling of reality, this new somber feeling.. it's not necessarily recognition of one's mortality, but instead, recognition of the limited time we spend on this Earth.
And I hate that.
I hate the feeling that I'm doing nothing nor know where I'm going.
Is that my fault?
Sure, I'm still technically a "kid", and I'm really trying to stop taking that for granted ["Youth is wasted on the young; life is wasted on... people"], but with the future approaching so fast, I can't bear to think about it, but today [AKA the present], I do it anyway.

"Today".

It's weird to think about, but today is the only day we should worry about.
Of course, that doesn't happen. But consider if we let our past go [easier said than done, of course], accept the fact that we can't change it, and hope for a brighter future. We can't predict it, so we can really only do the best we can today.

Sorry for the philosophy, I just needed to vent to someone and no one was available, so I figured I'd shoot my rant into cyberspace.

-CS.

PS- I think postmodernism would be a fabulous topic to study [and maybe to take in college, or something] from what I've seen of the course. In case you're not sure what pomo is, hit it up on Google; it's well worth your time.

I drink Monster with my breakfast.

No, seriously. I stumbled downstairs this morning like a hungover, tattoo-covered 21-year old punk. [Okay, so I just described my cousin Andrew, big fuckin’ deal.]
But caffeine is really fantastic in the morning, and I hate coffee.
I love Monster. It’s got this amazing taste that lingers on your lips.. like, aged and sweet.
Sweet and aged.
And cold.
Who needs alcohol when you have over 15 vitamins and minerals?

Anywho, two days ago, I set my background to dead CBGB, because I found a fantastic picture of the graffiti’d garage door and fell in love. (:
But it reminds me every time I look at it of what music really is.

I was reminded today of how utterly pissed off mainstream music makes me these days.
Example #1.

*DISCLAIMER: I wrote this at 4AM today. Er, yesterday. I apologize for the dreadful style, I was mainly just irritated.*

Today, I was browsing iTunes, and stopped to look at iTunes’s top 10.
#1?
TiK ToK, by Ke$ha.
I could say a LOT from the name alone… okay, Ke$ha, I’ll give you a shot.
Listened to the sample.
Vocal style was vaguely Rihanna, effects vaguely Rihanna/Lady Gaga, general musical “genius” [or SEVERE lack thereof] vaguely Katy Per- alright, general Katy Perry-esque vaguely Katy Perry.]
Looked up the lyrics for myself, and found the white girl rapper alibi I saw on her Wikipedia page.

[I don’t mindlessly argue against someone’s music because I don’t like their style; I build a bulletproof argument chock full of opinion.]

But I’m just getting started.

After seeing this chick on Wikipedia, her single for TiK ToK AND on YouTube, I’m thinking of a blonde, drunk, whored-out 21-year-old Miley Cyrus, no country with extra rap.
[Thanks, America.]
And her influences are listed as Beck and..

No…
It can’t be…

David Bowie?!?
What the FUCK?

Are you sure?

/Fumes heavily.

Okay.. deep breaths, we’re good.

Went to Ke$ha’s YouTube page. Very skeptical at this point, because of the 3 vlogs she had posted, 3/3 made her look like:

[brutal insults ahead, proceed with caution]

A. Stoned off her rocker.
B. She had just woken up, hung over, and to find $15 on the nightstand with a note saying “I’d see a doctor.”
C. Can I just go with “fucked up”?
D. All of the above.

Anyway, ignoring the vlogs, I went on to see her music video for TiK ToK.
[That’s getting really bothersome to type…]
And the randomness of the lyrics shone through more than I thought to be humanly possible.

Oh man.

Plot summary:
Chick gets dressed, brushes teeth, walks down hall. Random money falling scene. [Ironic, because she explained the “$” in her name to be irony because she wasn’t into music for the money. Huh.]
Chick goes into kitchen, woman [presumably mother] drops platter of pancakes at the audacity of her clothing choice. Attempting badassery, chick gives family a “fuck you” glance and walks out door.
Chick jumps on this tripped-out bike and rides into town.
More falling money.
Chick goes to party, gets wasted, and ends up with some random dude in a bathtub. Presumably passed out.

After witnessing these “works”, I’m thoroughly unimpressed with the lack of creativity behind any of this. At least Party in the USA had some thought. It honestly just seems like Ke$ha is trying to get the best of both worlds [Being white? Sorry, someone had to say it.] and using this overused style to hook the hiphop fanbase [Rihanna, Black-Eyed Peas] while pleasing the pop fanbase [3OH!3, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus and anyone else Disney spawns].

I think it would be a noble attempt if it weren’t such a trashy performance.
And I'd be impressed if she weren't trying to hard to play to people's interests.
(…Oh, so THERE’S the rap.)

Anyway, thoughts are welcome.

-CS.

Newsfeed.

[You're right, I'm happy to say I DON'T understand.]

Q. So, what do all these images have in common?

A. My generation will be forever known as the generation of the Twilight saga, bad grammar, procrastination, pointless Facebook groups, arrogance defended by the US Constitution, and dismissal of the shift key.

It's times like these I really wish I'd been born earlier. And by earlier, I mean 30 years minimum. /: I really hate that I didn't get to experience the 70s and 80s.
Hell, I barely can call myself a "90s kid" because I wasn't terribly aware of what was going on.
But it's alright. Generations are what you make them, right?

Terribly short post again. I'd like to call it short, sweet, and to the point.. but that phrase honestly reminds me of a quickie.
:D

OH!
I know I slightly beat the point into the ground, but one last thing.
There is ONE group you'll see me joining..



-CS.

Basghetti.

Don't ask.

It occurred to me today that maybe, just maybe, relationships- especially teenage- fluctuate with the tides.
Or just have set fluctuations, at least.
I may have mentioned it before, but I noticed that break-ups and get-togethers seem to come in waves. So maybe it's related to the gravitational pull of the moon?

[Apparent byproduct of pensiveness. I apologize for anything that remotely resembles jibberish.]

Snow day today. Everyone loves snow, secretly.
Dad and I were talking about how the snow makes everything quiet. Like a soundproof room sort of quality. [White noise?] Not only quiet, but peaceful too.

Terribly short post, hopefully will think of more to say in the near future.

-CS.

PS: "I love you" in Albanian is "te dua".

These and this.

I think I could rule the world with these. :D Or at least lead the best damn percussionist ensemble the world hath ever behold!
...-ed.

The world has ever seen. D:



And I honestly think I could teach a college course on this book. Not because I know it from front to back, but because it's so damn COOL.

:D
Yay for random tangible objects!

I miss people, by the way.
You guys, you right now who are reading this, I miss you.
I want to see you and give you a hug.
[Unless you're a Beatles fan, in which case I want to hold your hand. But that goes for everyone, really.]

That's it.

-CS.

Did you see the way she looked at me?

[After thinking about it for the 10 seconds it took to dry my hands, I've decided it's a LOT easier to write things on spot instead of noting them for later. That being said, here goes-]

November 28, 2009:
[I was in the mountains, trying not to be killed by a drunk driver on a windy road. Quit scowling.]
I bet mountains and their scenery look like little dioramas, or displays, or something of the like to God. Or airplanes.
I was driving- or rather, passengering- through one of those winding mountain roads and saw these "picture perfect" moments everywhere. Well, or lack thereof, anyway; all depends how you look at them. Quite unconventional moments, to say the least.
The one in particular that left an imprint in my mind was a beige barn with white trim. One of the doors was ripped off its hinge; the bottom left door on the front-facing side of the barn, to give an image. It was a new looking barn and had a few horses several hundred yards away, across the lot. |received a phone call here, stopped for 2 minutes and 16 seconds, and started back again when he hung up. Just for the record.| You could see light coming through the other side.
Anyway, it reminded me of one of those places you see in dreams at... twilight, I guess. You know? Not dark, but at like, 5:00. Not dark, but orange. Glowing in pale light.

...
Eh. I can't really post about this anymore, the thought is gone. xD
The point I was trying to make was that everything looked like it was standing still in time. But it wouldn't be a place you thought about as looking like that, or remembered often. Just one of those places on the planet no one ever thinks about.
But you've been there, and if people left a vapor trail, you could come back later and there'd only be a select few still lingering.

Fast forward to present.

We recently studied Genesis in..
That's right, kids, English class.
My teacher's a bit.. well, we're not going to go there.
But anywho, toward the end of the "unit", we talked about how Adam and Eve saw nakedness as a sin after they learned the difference between good and evil.
I never understood that, and I actually got the privilege of calling my teacher out on not understanding it either [:

[His response was the generic for when he didn't know something: "This is a religious recount, you can NEVER apply logic!" But I thought it was pretty great that I stumped him, anyway.]

Anyway, I thought about it, and society views that sort of "purity" as a sin as well.
Was talking to a wonderful, wonderful friend of mine tonight and he was telling me how he thought a girl was most beautiful with no makeup, in jeans and a t-shirt. And you know, I'm guilty of dressing up for people [a certain person, anyway], but he's really on the right track. We shouldn't love people for their exterior but what's inside it. The expression "love is blind" probably should be a guiding phrase for us all. I think it would save us from divorce, and save us from hypocrisy. [Well, some forms, at least.]
I was thinking a long time ago about if we all looked the same.. and had our personalities intact, but had a simple, plain exterior. Like grey blobs, or something. Then would we love people for who they were?

Maybe.
But that's not necessarily the right approach.

People take their personalities into a physical approach when they decide what to wear. And not in what they wear, necessarily, but how they wear it. This isn't to say all girls who wear makeup are insecure, or all men who wear a-little-too-formal clothes are looking to impress.

[Or all girls who wear pink are humanitarians, or all girls who wear black are Satanists.]

I think, however, we should follow this good man's example. We should find someone who loves us in t-shirts and jeans, we should find someone who loves us when we've cried our makeup off and have run our hands through our hair one too many times.
Someone who loves us when we wake up and someone who loves us when we fall asleep.

No matter what you look like.

Now, I'm not saying we all should become nudists.. but if you can look at yourself in the mirror in the purest state and know that your significant other- and YOURSELF, for that matter- loves you not REGARDLESS of what they see, but BECAUSE of what they see- well, you're on a good route, and you're probably happy with them. And should be!

Hmm.
/endrant.
And don't take that as a moral thing, that's all my opinion. :D

Anyway, I've been looping the song "Eddie's Gun" by The Kooks for probably the better part of half an hour. Definitely a recommended listen.
I don't think I've found a song by The Kooks I DON'T like. Heh.

*Just realized that the title could be interpreted two ways. SHIT, total accident. xD Now I feel like a cliche. Oh well. It's a lyric, swear.*

That's pretty much it.
Good night, nation.

-CS.
[actual time of posting: 10:00P.]

World Wide Web? WAY larger scale than any of us watched last night on the weather.

I've had this idea just festering away in my mind for a week now, so here goes putting it down for the world to see:
I love how people openly lie in conversation, you know?
[That sounds harsh, but hear me out.]
It's like, people all the time ask "How are you?", and the correct response is?

A. Fine!
B. I'm okay!
C. Good, you?
D. All of the above.

Just think about that.

It's strange, to me, how society has put forth the facade of one that cares. Okay, maybe not strange, but a bit disconcerting. How long has it been like this, you have to wonder?
I mean, these "correct answers" are really all you CAN say. It keeps things upbeat. Keeps the world at an idealistic canvas.
As long as there's no sadness [displayed], where are the world's flaws?

I really don't mean to strike controversy anywhere, I've just been noticing a lot of things over the past month of this like.
[And I hate to bring music into this, but "You Don't Know Me" by Ben Folds is a perfect example of this.]
Maybe there's a tie to more, though. Is this the reason there's such a high divorce rate? Poverty rate? Chaos rate?

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not an advocate for world peace, but I mean.. this is a valid concern, isn't it?
And being a valid concern, whose responsibility is it to fix this travesty we call communication?

-CS.

p.s. Sorry for lack of updates, you three people who got on my case for not writing in a while. Happy early let's-steal-land-from-the-Injuns day.