I fear I've won a battle that shouldn't be won.

I really do wear the pants in this relationship. (:
I never realized how relative these pictures are until I really looked. And the funny thing is, I had a great argument until now.. and it's escaped me.
Oh well.

It's funny.. the one it really matters that I should vent to isn't getting it. Ever.
What can I say, he's a man of logic. So it probably wouldn't do anything anyway.
Good thing he doesn't read my blog. We'd be in trouble, I guess, if he ever did.
But back to what I was saying, I guess I'll shoot my rambling into cyberspace from now on.
Shouldn't be that much of a difference. Cody won't get my ranting anymore, but that's the only thing changing.
My friends put up with too much of my teenage girl shit.

I want to make intelligent entries again in this blog, but it's become an emotional dumpster, it feels like.
The thing that sucks is that nothing else crosses my mind anymore.
But then again, did it ever?
I know people occasionally read this blog, ones I know and ones I don't, but not one has mentioned it to me except for 2 I know.
(And if you guys ever read this, tell me. Jasmine and Sathya. Thanks in advance..)

I guess my problem is that I've got so much to say to him (HIM), but I can't.
I don't know why, I just can't.
I should.
But I can't.
It's because I feel like if something should be said, it really shouldn't (total sense there). Like.. you shouldn't tell someone how to love someone. You shouldn't tell someone how to treat their girlfriend. You shouldn't tell someone they deserve better. Even if it's true.
I don't want anything else. I don't want anything better. I want him to love me and mean it and show it. But I couldn't tell him to love me more, or mean it more, or show it more. That's up to him.
If he really does and really means it, he should show it on HIS account.
I feel like I'm babbling to myself.
(Partially because I don't think anyone will read this and understand it.)

I've thought this many times, I feel like I've told certain people before.. but here goes.
First of all.. I feel like if I ever tell him what battle I've won, I should do it in a coffee shop. Right now, in my mind, it's the Mount Tabor Starbucks. Because I feel like the Starbucks close to my house would be asking for too much. (It's the closest to his house, too, though..)
So the title?
I think I've won the "I love you more" battle. I think I told him. I think he knows. I know he's stopped arguing.

Fin.
Probably will delete soon.

-CS.

Today I learned..

..that waxed floors that are still wet can be fixed, but dry ones can't.
[What?]

That pizza tastes fantastic when you ate a muffin for breakfast.

That leaving your hair down for almost the entire day doesn't make you want to kill yourself right away, and gets you complimented by many teachers.

That your boyfriend tastes fantastic even when he just drank orange soda.
[Sorry Sathya, if you're reading this.]

But most of all, that no matter who someone is and whatever power they hold over your life, you must always stand firm to your beliefs and not conform to what they want you to be, because that is not yourself.. therefore you're not showing them what- rather, WHO you can be.
It doesn't help much in the longrun. /: You may think it does.. but it's like submitting an essay you've proofread dozens of times. Someone somewhere will always find something to criticize about it, even if you've pulled it off flawlessly.

Do I wish things are different? Absolutely.

Will I give up a challenge? Absolutely not.

If someone's flesh and blood can love every aspect of Corsair Sinphonse like he says he does.. his mother can too.

-CS.

I can has nightmares plz?

I had another strange dream last night, I guess crazy things happening the night before do that to you.
It was like a really fucked up version of Twilight, honestly xD.
I was Bella. Bleh. And I'm pretty sure I looked like that chick who played her in the film, because I guess I was just sorta omniscient in that dream, and I saw little game stats in the corner of my vision sometimes..
Anyway, what had happened from what I remember was I started out as this Bella chick, just less.. obsessed, I guess? And I met Edward, and I eventually turned into a vampire as well, and I suppose the way it worked was that the more people you killed the more of a vampire you became, because I remember losing my reflection and eventually being able to fly around.
Mind you, flying is fucking AWESOME.
[I flew in a grocery store. :D It was fun.]
Anyway, we ended up in this GIANT house with random people we'd just start killing. And I guess I was switching POVs back and forth from a vampire to a victim, because I remember running and running but I was chasing at the same time.
But it wasn't like these guys were just having their blood sucked, it was like, they were being mutilated and stuff. Pretty grotesque, because I woke up in a very cold sweat.
So the way it ended was the people all either died or were stuck somewhere hiding, but the Edward dude ended up telling me that they were the reasons certain civilizations had died out. [I can't remember the names, but I figured I wouldn't ask about the Atlantians because they're underwater anyway xD.] And eventually the "hero" group found us, overpowered us, caught us, and locked us in these cages floating over this bottomless pit for the rest of eternity. Hahaha.
Weird ass dream. But I remembered it really well, so I thought I'd write it down before I forgot.

-CS.