New Years.

I've felt recently that life is passing me by. And by recently, I mean quite a bit in the last 4 to 6 months.

This really sucks because I haven't hit my mid-life yet. I can't have a crisis!
[And to those of you who talk to me; one in particular; yes, you, you know who you are- no, this isn't the reason I've been acting weird.]

However, this being the last day of the year [and last two hours of said year], I just feel like.. I dunno.
Like the clock is ticking and time's flying by while I sit here doing all of absolutely NOTHING in my individual cell, where I'm slowly dying.

2010 will supposedly bring new promises of happiness. But really, it's hard to imagine.

In the 90's, there was the Y2K "scare" [written "scare" because it was really a cult terror; much like 2012] that left people wondering what would happen next. And I'm sure none of them imagined the events that would take place from the first of January in 2000 to the thirty-first of December in 2009.
I guess my point is that 2010 is just as weird and futuristic to us as Y2K was to the generation before us.

Adding on to this, however, Y2K and its uncertainty really gave people this new glance into reality. And I'm sure everyone has it once in their life.
Some people attribute it to a near-death experience, and some people just have too much time on their hands.
This feeling of reality, this new somber feeling.. it's not necessarily recognition of one's mortality, but instead, recognition of the limited time we spend on this Earth.
And I hate that.
I hate the feeling that I'm doing nothing nor know where I'm going.
Is that my fault?
Sure, I'm still technically a "kid", and I'm really trying to stop taking that for granted ["Youth is wasted on the young; life is wasted on... people"], but with the future approaching so fast, I can't bear to think about it, but today [AKA the present], I do it anyway.

"Today".

It's weird to think about, but today is the only day we should worry about.
Of course, that doesn't happen. But consider if we let our past go [easier said than done, of course], accept the fact that we can't change it, and hope for a brighter future. We can't predict it, so we can really only do the best we can today.

Sorry for the philosophy, I just needed to vent to someone and no one was available, so I figured I'd shoot my rant into cyberspace.

-CS.

PS- I think postmodernism would be a fabulous topic to study [and maybe to take in college, or something] from what I've seen of the course. In case you're not sure what pomo is, hit it up on Google; it's well worth your time.