I drink Monster with my breakfast.

No, seriously. I stumbled downstairs this morning like a hungover, tattoo-covered 21-year old punk. [Okay, so I just described my cousin Andrew, big fuckin’ deal.]
But caffeine is really fantastic in the morning, and I hate coffee.
I love Monster. It’s got this amazing taste that lingers on your lips.. like, aged and sweet.
Sweet and aged.
And cold.
Who needs alcohol when you have over 15 vitamins and minerals?

Anywho, two days ago, I set my background to dead CBGB, because I found a fantastic picture of the graffiti’d garage door and fell in love. (:
But it reminds me every time I look at it of what music really is.

I was reminded today of how utterly pissed off mainstream music makes me these days.
Example #1.

*DISCLAIMER: I wrote this at 4AM today. Er, yesterday. I apologize for the dreadful style, I was mainly just irritated.*

Today, I was browsing iTunes, and stopped to look at iTunes’s top 10.
#1?
TiK ToK, by Ke$ha.
I could say a LOT from the name alone… okay, Ke$ha, I’ll give you a shot.
Listened to the sample.
Vocal style was vaguely Rihanna, effects vaguely Rihanna/Lady Gaga, general musical “genius” [or SEVERE lack thereof] vaguely Katy Per- alright, general Katy Perry-esque vaguely Katy Perry.]
Looked up the lyrics for myself, and found the white girl rapper alibi I saw on her Wikipedia page.

[I don’t mindlessly argue against someone’s music because I don’t like their style; I build a bulletproof argument chock full of opinion.]

But I’m just getting started.

After seeing this chick on Wikipedia, her single for TiK ToK AND on YouTube, I’m thinking of a blonde, drunk, whored-out 21-year-old Miley Cyrus, no country with extra rap.
[Thanks, America.]
And her influences are listed as Beck and..

No…
It can’t be…

David Bowie?!?
What the FUCK?

Are you sure?

/Fumes heavily.

Okay.. deep breaths, we’re good.

Went to Ke$ha’s YouTube page. Very skeptical at this point, because of the 3 vlogs she had posted, 3/3 made her look like:

[brutal insults ahead, proceed with caution]

A. Stoned off her rocker.
B. She had just woken up, hung over, and to find $15 on the nightstand with a note saying “I’d see a doctor.”
C. Can I just go with “fucked up”?
D. All of the above.

Anyway, ignoring the vlogs, I went on to see her music video for TiK ToK.
[That’s getting really bothersome to type…]
And the randomness of the lyrics shone through more than I thought to be humanly possible.

Oh man.

Plot summary:
Chick gets dressed, brushes teeth, walks down hall. Random money falling scene. [Ironic, because she explained the “$” in her name to be irony because she wasn’t into music for the money. Huh.]
Chick goes into kitchen, woman [presumably mother] drops platter of pancakes at the audacity of her clothing choice. Attempting badassery, chick gives family a “fuck you” glance and walks out door.
Chick jumps on this tripped-out bike and rides into town.
More falling money.
Chick goes to party, gets wasted, and ends up with some random dude in a bathtub. Presumably passed out.

After witnessing these “works”, I’m thoroughly unimpressed with the lack of creativity behind any of this. At least Party in the USA had some thought. It honestly just seems like Ke$ha is trying to get the best of both worlds [Being white? Sorry, someone had to say it.] and using this overused style to hook the hiphop fanbase [Rihanna, Black-Eyed Peas] while pleasing the pop fanbase [3OH!3, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus and anyone else Disney spawns].

I think it would be a noble attempt if it weren’t such a trashy performance.
And I'd be impressed if she weren't trying to hard to play to people's interests.
(…Oh, so THERE’S the rap.)

Anyway, thoughts are welcome.

-CS.