Did you see the way she looked at me?

[After thinking about it for the 10 seconds it took to dry my hands, I've decided it's a LOT easier to write things on spot instead of noting them for later. That being said, here goes-]

November 28, 2009:
[I was in the mountains, trying not to be killed by a drunk driver on a windy road. Quit scowling.]
I bet mountains and their scenery look like little dioramas, or displays, or something of the like to God. Or airplanes.
I was driving- or rather, passengering- through one of those winding mountain roads and saw these "picture perfect" moments everywhere. Well, or lack thereof, anyway; all depends how you look at them. Quite unconventional moments, to say the least.
The one in particular that left an imprint in my mind was a beige barn with white trim. One of the doors was ripped off its hinge; the bottom left door on the front-facing side of the barn, to give an image. It was a new looking barn and had a few horses several hundred yards away, across the lot. |received a phone call here, stopped for 2 minutes and 16 seconds, and started back again when he hung up. Just for the record.| You could see light coming through the other side.
Anyway, it reminded me of one of those places you see in dreams at... twilight, I guess. You know? Not dark, but at like, 5:00. Not dark, but orange. Glowing in pale light.

...
Eh. I can't really post about this anymore, the thought is gone. xD
The point I was trying to make was that everything looked like it was standing still in time. But it wouldn't be a place you thought about as looking like that, or remembered often. Just one of those places on the planet no one ever thinks about.
But you've been there, and if people left a vapor trail, you could come back later and there'd only be a select few still lingering.

Fast forward to present.

We recently studied Genesis in..
That's right, kids, English class.
My teacher's a bit.. well, we're not going to go there.
But anywho, toward the end of the "unit", we talked about how Adam and Eve saw nakedness as a sin after they learned the difference between good and evil.
I never understood that, and I actually got the privilege of calling my teacher out on not understanding it either [:

[His response was the generic for when he didn't know something: "This is a religious recount, you can NEVER apply logic!" But I thought it was pretty great that I stumped him, anyway.]

Anyway, I thought about it, and society views that sort of "purity" as a sin as well.
Was talking to a wonderful, wonderful friend of mine tonight and he was telling me how he thought a girl was most beautiful with no makeup, in jeans and a t-shirt. And you know, I'm guilty of dressing up for people [a certain person, anyway], but he's really on the right track. We shouldn't love people for their exterior but what's inside it. The expression "love is blind" probably should be a guiding phrase for us all. I think it would save us from divorce, and save us from hypocrisy. [Well, some forms, at least.]
I was thinking a long time ago about if we all looked the same.. and had our personalities intact, but had a simple, plain exterior. Like grey blobs, or something. Then would we love people for who they were?

Maybe.
But that's not necessarily the right approach.

People take their personalities into a physical approach when they decide what to wear. And not in what they wear, necessarily, but how they wear it. This isn't to say all girls who wear makeup are insecure, or all men who wear a-little-too-formal clothes are looking to impress.

[Or all girls who wear pink are humanitarians, or all girls who wear black are Satanists.]

I think, however, we should follow this good man's example. We should find someone who loves us in t-shirts and jeans, we should find someone who loves us when we've cried our makeup off and have run our hands through our hair one too many times.
Someone who loves us when we wake up and someone who loves us when we fall asleep.

No matter what you look like.

Now, I'm not saying we all should become nudists.. but if you can look at yourself in the mirror in the purest state and know that your significant other- and YOURSELF, for that matter- loves you not REGARDLESS of what they see, but BECAUSE of what they see- well, you're on a good route, and you're probably happy with them. And should be!

Hmm.
/endrant.
And don't take that as a moral thing, that's all my opinion. :D

Anyway, I've been looping the song "Eddie's Gun" by The Kooks for probably the better part of half an hour. Definitely a recommended listen.
I don't think I've found a song by The Kooks I DON'T like. Heh.

*Just realized that the title could be interpreted two ways. SHIT, total accident. xD Now I feel like a cliche. Oh well. It's a lyric, swear.*

That's pretty much it.
Good night, nation.

-CS.
[actual time of posting: 10:00P.]

World Wide Web? WAY larger scale than any of us watched last night on the weather.

I've had this idea just festering away in my mind for a week now, so here goes putting it down for the world to see:
I love how people openly lie in conversation, you know?
[That sounds harsh, but hear me out.]
It's like, people all the time ask "How are you?", and the correct response is?

A. Fine!
B. I'm okay!
C. Good, you?
D. All of the above.

Just think about that.

It's strange, to me, how society has put forth the facade of one that cares. Okay, maybe not strange, but a bit disconcerting. How long has it been like this, you have to wonder?
I mean, these "correct answers" are really all you CAN say. It keeps things upbeat. Keeps the world at an idealistic canvas.
As long as there's no sadness [displayed], where are the world's flaws?

I really don't mean to strike controversy anywhere, I've just been noticing a lot of things over the past month of this like.
[And I hate to bring music into this, but "You Don't Know Me" by Ben Folds is a perfect example of this.]
Maybe there's a tie to more, though. Is this the reason there's such a high divorce rate? Poverty rate? Chaos rate?

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not an advocate for world peace, but I mean.. this is a valid concern, isn't it?
And being a valid concern, whose responsibility is it to fix this travesty we call communication?

-CS.

p.s. Sorry for lack of updates, you three people who got on my case for not writing in a while. Happy early let's-steal-land-from-the-Injuns day.

Just A Thought.

The afterlife is a touchy subject, isn't it?
I mean, after thousands of years, no one knows what it's like. Many generations and cultures have their own ideals about it. Yet no one thinks about it as much as one would assume.
Today, when I was particularly bored, I went to see if The Legend of Zelda was online somewhere. It was, and ironically on the same website as the Pac-Man game I'd found earlier.
The irony?

A Christian magazine's website.
Okay, so God likes Zelda too.

But what really caught my eye was an advertisement for a book at the bottom of the webpage:

"What will Heaven be like?" Have you ever wondered? Will we play Zelda online?
Do you want to know what the Bible means when it talks about "the New Earth" and "the Kingdom of Heaven?" If so, Lee Wilson and Joe Beam have teamed up to provide a fast-paced, exciting book on Heaven and the afterlife.

Heh.
Playing Zelda online in the afterlife. It's okay if you snickered, I did too.
But I mean, I really started to think about it. Maybe these guys are onto something.
And this really got me thinking.
Who's to say we all really DO live forever, and we here on Earth are dead? If you want to argue that life is cyclic, sure, you could say each time you die you are born again forever. And each time you're born, you die forever.

But maybe we here on Earth began in heaven, or whatever you want to call it, and we got so sick of living forever that we "killed ourselves" by being born? Of course, our memories were wiped in the process if this theory is correct, but a Christian could argue that it was God's will just as well as an Egyptian could argue that one doesn't remember their past life.
So when we're reborn into heaven, we realize what an utter hell the art of dying is, and we enjoy life forever.

It's odd, isn't it? I mean, I understand COMPLETELY that one reading this is lost or doesn't agree whatsoever with this idea- hell, I wouldn't- but it just sprang to mind.

End transmission.

-CS.

Amateur Radio.

So my dad and I were in the car coming back from the store today, and we started talking about amateur [AKA ham] radio after seeing a license plate of the sort.
Side note: Ham really doesn't stand for anything except amateur radio operator. xD Trust me, I checked. There's a lot of false etymology behind it, but it really has no significance. Nor does it have relation to the meat.

Anyway, from what he told me today, I have taken an interest. It sounds really cool.

I mean, radio is somewhat of a lost art even though they offer classes.. but a means of communication worldwide via voice frequency? That's pretty damn awesome!
Most radio "stations" begin with a K, he said. And all you need is a set and a REALLY big antenna in your yard. The higher, the better. So if you wanted, you could connect with and talk to someone in Saudi Arabia!
With all the Internet dependency these days, I bet the people you run into over radio frequencies would be pretty awesome people. Or at least have awesome stories, who knows.

So that's pretty much all I had to say.
Go ham radio. :D

-CS.

Halloween and other existential stuff.

So you were born in an electrical storm, took a bite out the sun and saw your future in a machine built for two. Now your rays make me kind of go crazy, shock and awe and amaze me, just a ticker tape parade and me, but something was wrong till you tap danced on the air in the night.
---
I'm sick.
No, not really, I'm not sick.
Been listening to Nataly Dawn talk about cats in wagons, though. So then I went on iTunes and found this cool "single of the week" thing. Free music!

But while I was going to get said free single, I saw two things-

1. Taylor Swift is apparently the featured artist of the week. What the fuck, Taylor Swift? Why? Does iTunes really pity her that much as to give her Halloween week?!
I personally don't think she deserves it.
2. "Pre-order Michael Jackson's This Is It NOW!"
Yeah, I don't want to see This Is It. Or that new Heath Ledger movie for that matter. I just feel really intrusive about it all.. if they'd want us all to see, you know? As Jasmine so eloquently put it, "I mean, I throw out all my rough drafts. It's like I write my revisions, and woosh, they're gone! Why would anyone want to willingly hand them over to people?"

It hit me today how much people change since primary school. It's just... really weird, mainly because you can't help to wonder if the people you thought you knew have changed or just stayed the same. Weird, right?

Also kinda freaking out about colleges. I got an email from a college guy today.
It's like "Dude, I'm a sophomore.. must I consider future options NOW? Come on, 5 more minutes?" And with all the seniors I know, it just comes across as a really shitty process.

I know it's my excuse for everything, but I really want to see Dylan soon, because with all life's recent twists and turns and random mandering around places it shouldn't.. I want an escape of sorts. And he tends to provide. Things are just so different around him, it's great.
Plus everything's better, you know?

I don't know.
Maybe I need sleep.
I say really too much. And propone. And don't. And I.

_ shall ponder these things tonight if _ ever get some sleep. Usually love Halloween, but for some reason today has been quite out of the ordinary pleasant loop. _ just feel particularly.. not glum as much as pensive, but in the sorta dreary way.

Yeah, sleep sounds good. _ think _ do ______ need it.

Insert emote here.
Good night, nation.

-CS.

Lego Kitchen

List of things I love today:
1. Being a percussionist.
a. Suspended cymbal rolls. :3
b. Invicta. [Swearingen. Also compiled Exaltation and Majestia.]
2. The smell of leaves in fall. Also the smell of wood fires and burning leaves.
3. The smell of clean laundry from my house.
4. Light-up AC/DC horns.
5. Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
6. My current ringtone. [Cinnabar Island from RBY.]
7. No school.
8. Solid state musical Tesla coils. Especially those of which play old Nintendo game themes.
9. Last Sunday. [:
10. Dylan. I REALLY love him.

But to elaborate on 1a, I really like suspended cymbal rolls because they're like.. resonating happiness. [: We play two songs in band class this year [so far] that I get to do cymbal rolls on. And I'm DAMN excited. Can't help but to grin like an idiot whenever I get to apply them. Hahaha, I'm a freak.

Unfortunately, on a less high note.. I have seen a lot of relationships go down the drain in the past 6 months.
Woo Live Feed on Facebook.
I'm not going to say it irritates me to see girls be stupid and googly-eyed over their jerk boyfriends, but I mean.. it doesn't make me happy. Especially when they're my friends.
Now I admit, I had a bit of a rough patch in my relationship, but we fixed it. And I really do believe we're both stronger now. Sometimes I'm scared about how far we're going to get [in the sense that the "only time will tell" aspect irritates the hell out of me, I want to stick with him and I want fate to tell me it agrees], but one day at a time, right?
However, when one of your friends has been in agony over their relationship since April.. you can't help but to tell them again and again that breaking up and getting back together next period ISN'T A GOOD IDEA.
Ladies, don't take bullshit. And guys, give your girl all you've got. If you find yourself unmotivated at any time, get another girl. Don't cheat, don't stop trying, just get the fuck out.
/endrant.

I really want some food.

Anyway, I need to get sleep. Yard sale tomorrow. And also a Halloween party or two.
[Zombie MJ. It was Evan's idea, I liked it. xD]
Good night, nation.

-CS.

Happy or slightly apathetic?

Internet, I apologize. Your father's been out of town, and well, I've had to satiate my needs somewhere.

I was talking to Dylan [you, if you're reading this] and I guess the reason I haven't blogged in a while has been the fact that I got not one, but two journals for my birthday. I only write in one.
Ironically, it's maybe 2 feet away. Maybe three entries.
Anyway, not much has happened. No sudden urges to write more than maybe a line. I had the urge to write last night, but it's like, this chaotic [definition of chaotic by Marvelli: without form/structure. I'll go with that.] swirling cloud of an idea that hasn't really settled into a piece I can write yet.
But I'm afraid it's going to sound really emo.

I think this POST will sound emo.

But I digress.

I heard this song the other day when my friend linked me to his cover of it. I really liked the lyrics, so I looked the song up and listened.. and I'm not really sure if I like the song itself or just its words, but I think that even if I don't like the song, the words make up for it.
Or at least, they made me find likable aspects of the song.

I really like that it's a minor key, though. Haha, déjà vu, much?

I picked you out of a crowd and talked to you; I said I liked your shoes, you said, "Thanks, can I follow you?"
So it's up the stairs and out of view, no prying eyes- I poured some wine, I asked your name, you asked the time.
Now it's two o'clock; the club is closed, we're up the block.
Your hands on me, pressing hard against your jeans.. your tongue in my mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out.
You didn't care to know who else may have been you before.

I want a lover I don't have to love, I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck.
Where's the kid with the chemicals? I thought he said to meet him here, but I'm not sure..
I've got the money if you've got the time; you said it feels good, I said, "I'll give it a try."

Then my mind went dark; we both forgot where your car was parked.
Let's just take the train. I'll meet up with the band in the morning.
Bad actors with bad habits, some sad singers they just play tragic..
And the phone's ringing and the van's leaving; let's just keep touching, let's just keep, keep singing.

I want a lover I don't have to love, I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk.
Where's the kid with the chemicals? I've got a hunger and I can't seem to get full.
I need some meaning I can memorize- the kind I have always seems to slip my mind.

But you, but you, you write such pretty words.
But life's no storybook.
Love's an excuse to get hurt.
And to hurt.
Do you like to hurt?
I do.. I do.

-Lover I Don't Have To Love, Bright Eyes.

It's not that I'm proponing the message, per se, of the song. I just... I really like it. Haha, I can't think of much else to it. It's like it's got this hauntingly resonating quality about it.
It makes me think of downtown, maybe. I dunno.

Anyway.
Since this post, I've decided, shall be ungodly long-

I was thinking about this today.
I HIGHLY recommend the movie Inglourious Basterds.
The first chapter, especially, was FANTASTIC. Oh man. The ending of the first chapter is, arguably, my favorite scene. Not because of the gore, mind you, but because it's so... chilling, I guess? You just get this chill deep in your bones but you can't help to watch on, amazed. I actually think I started laughing, or smiling at least.
I can't tell you what the scene is because I don't want to ruin it, and don't go look it up either, but when you see it, you'll DEFINITELY know what I'm referring to.

In other nudes, my school asked me to attend Governor's School this summer.
Not kidding.
It was the strangest thing, too. They called me out of Chemistry one day to talk to me about the programs. I'm like "Why me?"
But apparently they wanted me for the music program. I'm a percussionist, we're a rare species.
Or at least a rare species in that I'm one of the few, I think, that hasn't died off from Jackass disorder. Haha, but you know, I'm modest too.
Anyway, I'm not going this summer, because tuition is a bitch and I can get into better programs when I'm a junior.

I really have nothing else to say other than I hope my prospects are what I'm holding them to.
To what? That's up to your own individual interpretation, reader. But if you see me in the next three days, you should have a good idea.
Until the next blue moon.

-CS.