I've noticed something..

So I've got a Facebook.
Post on it regularly. Use it to keep in touch with friends and people I don't normally see.
Normal stuff like that.
But recently it's begun to be inhabited by adults, so I've seen. Just random adults you kinda-sorta-not-really-but-in-a-way know. For my specific instance, it's the people in my community from two distinctive groups- church and parents of friends.
I'm not trying to say I'm against adults getting Facebook pages. I don't mind being friends with these adults, even! But it's starting to really bother me.
And that's not just because one of the adults from my church is sending me event invites non-stop.
It's because I'm being watched.
I got a message from my youth leader to the youth group at my church saying that he doesn't want to see some of the stuff the youth posts up on their pages, because it's frowned upon. And even before this, my friends and I have had to really watch what we say, so we don't get grief from adults.
It's not that the aspect of it is an invasion of privacy, because I know it's not. Whatever you post on the Internet is your responsibility to do safely.
But what does bother me is that youth these days are having so much pressure on them to do whatever is socially accepted. Conformity? Not necessarily, but follows the same general track.
For example. No one is the absolute perfect Facebook/Myspace/Bebo/Twitter/whatever you implement user. I'm sure everyone has some perverted joke, some somewhat explicit song they listen to or movie they love, or curses a bit on their personal pages, right?
If you're looked down upon for something that you say or do and they find themselves...what image does that present?
Especially recently, people have really had dampers established.
I noticed this recently as well. I'm studying up on the Federal Communications Commission [or better known as the FCC] for a new style of debate I'm trying, and people are having more and more rights taken away for the most redundant reasons.
This really does apply here as well.
If your friends' parents are looking at your personal pages and saying "Oh, this person uses this language from time to time, this is bad." or something of that sort, honestly, whose fault is that?
We as Americans [and other countries as well, for sure] are granted the freedom of expression. More specifically, free speech.
This freedom does come with the responsibility of moderating what is posted and how it can affect your safety, of course, but the freedom is still granted.
I'm not even saying anything about personal information being put up for the world to see.
I'm only saying that sites like Facebook have turned into something so formal, so adult-moderated that...people really don't have freedoms anymore.
If you're having to hide things you say because you don't want people to overreact, what has this modern-day, so-called "advanced" society come to?

Maybe I'm just acting like a rebel teenager.
I don't know. I figured my reasoning was pretty valid.
As far as I'm concerned, no one should care what I post unless it's going to hurt my safety or confidentiality at its highest being a user.

/end rant.

She's back! ...In black! :D

[See, this is what you get from hanging around an AC/DC obsessed 16 year-old. A LOT. xD.]

Weather: 60 degrees. And it's really, really, really sunny. *dies*

OHGOD GUYS.
I AM SO SORRY.
FOR NOT UPDATING.
ON DA.
My computer's hard drive got wiped on Thursday, and I only managed to save so many files. x___x
Most of the newer poetry got killed. D:
But! But. I have hard copies of most of it, therefore I'll be able to type it all back up. Which is very very good.

So in other news, life is very good right now.
Wonderful friendship restored. [Although not back up to full power yet, but..]
Bloody amazing friends around me at the current moment. [:
And outstanding boyfriend, too. Although I can't hardly see him, ah well.

PSATs were two weeks ago. And end-of-quarter tests too.
Oh, the pain.
So they're over this week. Which is good.
Oh, and Halloween! It's in 4 days, 10 hours, and...4 minutes. [:
Yeah. I'm a freakish child, I know.

So anyway, Borders in an hour. Yay.
And 2-page essay which I have yet to start [that I completely procrastinated on until the very last minute. :D]
Haha. Peace.

xo.
Sinphonse.

Locked In A Modern-Day Fairytale.

[Props to Jesse for the title. Here we go..]
Weather: 45 fucking degrees. Ho-oooly shit. Miracles do happen.

...Or nightmare.
I respect concern. But I know I've been acting weird lately.
Why?
A bit overwhelmed...and there are things that aren't making it better.
For those of you who actually read the shit I post, I thank you.
So anyway...it's not that I'm upset with anyone, I'm just sad. I guess. I don't know.

[So after reading back over this, I decided to randomly interject an impromptu piece of music to listen to while reading this, to keep from getting too mad at me.
Or maybe I just like it too much, ha. Wouldn't doubt it. It makes me think of Eliza...oh right, the song. Talk, by Coldplay. Do it.]

a- A few of my friends have been really...disconcerting lately.
And you know who they are.
Some of them...I'm just really tired of the way they act...when they decide to drop you from their [scene, eye-liner, fake screamo fandom and I-feel-so-unbelievably-sorry-for-myself]-centered world for this one person they're concentrated around. They're just playing up the fucking game of being my BEST FRIEND FOR EVARRR LOLO (try 10 months.) to entertain themselves. I guess it happens though. Hopefully I'm going to be done with that soon...or it fixes itself, I don't know.
And the other thing that absolutely everyone who comes in contact with me in some way, shape or form [hell, I bet some of you who DON'T do that know.] .
I don't even have to say it.
It's making me too crazy.
You know that.
Hell. You decided to keep reading this.
[I'm doing it because there's no one to talk to.]
I miss the aforementioned person.
I really really do.

Random interjection- do you fucking know how many times I've typed "theyre's" instead of "there's" today, and had to change it? TOO MANY. D:

So anyway.
I know I'm sounding like one of those nauseatingly angsty modern-day teenagers.
/:
But anyway...moving on...

b- [although it kind of relates to the first point.]
I appreciate everyone's concern for my stress and the what.
But seriously, there are points where some people get into my issues too deep. And I thought I dropped enough hints to let you know.
No, this isn't pointed at any specific person - because I know there are a few people who are going to go "OMG SHE'S WRITING THIS ABOUT ME" and no, I'm not. It's more a generalization of shit that's gone down recently that I just can't handle as well as I thought.
Yes, I appreciate the help. I really do.
And I also appreciate the support. Really, I'm not trying to say I don't want people talking to me about this. I love talking to every one of you.
A lot- hell, majority of you are doing this right. Completely and unquestionably being amazing friends to me.
But unless your name is Dylan White, please don't go try and fix what's rightfully mine to fix. Don't think you are.
[Mainly because it involves him and not the people who think it involves them.
...And because he does it regardless of my protesting.
Which sounded very dirty, but really wasn't supposed to. But I digress, to get out of these damn brackets.]

..Because that made so much sense. x_____x.
Just...felt like I needed to get that out.

[Why the fuck am I up this late.]

I don't know. I'm probably just being the same old me.
Which worries me sometimes.
But with my friends, I'm sure I can get through this.
Dylan, Kelly, Sathya, Gaby, Río, Erin, Hayley, Adrian...can't finish that list. I love you guys.
Couldn't live without you.
[As shown by recent times.]
And Rachel, you too.
Always will.

*sigh* That felt somewhat better.
And if you can tell, I sorta got a little better toward the end.
I'm going to hit the bed. Church tomorrow. I'm up late enough, ne.

xo.

So you take a picture of something you see; in the future, where would I be...
And now there's happy music, dammit.
Sorry. I'm leaving now.
*shuffles off to bed like the zombie everyone gets to be at 2:30 in the marnin'.*

The Greyest of Clouds.

Weather: 57 degrees. Dark.

As of this moment in time, I have exactly 45 minutes until I'm one more year old.
God damn it.

Not in the cheeriest of moods today.
I've had a lot of things happen lately.

So I got a boyfriend...but my best friend is mad at me for it...which is eating me alive. /:
And I would get to see him tomorrow...but I'm being kept at home, taking care of my mother and hopefully enjoying my weekend off from issues.
Mm. Ironic.
[I had a debate. I had to ditch my partner. It's not great for your motivation.]

Dad's been lying to me and Rosie again. Not a great thing.

And I've got friends having troubles too...so I'm sort of tied to helping them out as well.
One of my friends was sweet enough to try and help with the issue previously mentioned with the boyfriend, but it didn't last 24 hours.
Worst part is, he really tried. Really tried. And I didn't even screw it up this time.
I feel dreadful. Even though it wasn't my fault.
I guess that's just life, sometimes, though.

So poetry reading last Tuesday. It went really well.
The poets who came were great. [Including my good friend Robsonnet, off of DA. Check his page out: http://robsonnet.deviantart.com ]
I appreciate their input on my work, and it should be up on DA soon.

Also.
Co-writing a story with another good friend of mine. We started last weekend, and God knows when we'll finish. Ah well. Throw caution to the wind with this, I suppose.

Party in 3 weeks. Wow.

So that's basically it. Hope I'm not being a total drama queen with all this...just needed to vent.
Peace.

xo.
C.

Insanity, Conveniently Packaged In Speech Form!

Weather: 83 degrees. And storming like God is pissed as hell.

High school.
Hoooly crap.
It's the strangest thing since the documentary of John McCain's life in the military. *shakes head*

[Oooh. And I'm only saying this because I haven't gotten a chance yet. C:]

Anyway. I'm 3 weeks into it and have awesome grades, so that's good. [:
But I think I'm getting a weird bend to my backbone because of all the homework and stuff.

So anywho, on another note.
National Debate tournament this weekend at Wake Forest University.
It's sort of a bittersweet thing, though...because debating can be fun, but it's really nerve-wracking. At least for me, I know.
Since I'm a freshie and have technically no experience with it, I suppose. [Although I did spend last year debating as well.]
But it's giving me mixed feelings, and I hate that, so I guess I'll have to give it time.
We had two rounds today, and they both went...okay. Not wonderful, but hey, we did our best. :D
We pretty much wtfpwned them for being 9th graders.

Also.
Poetry reading on the 30th, and I'm the host! Yaay.
o____o.
Scared out of my pants, guys.
And I can't write any poetry because of the school work and the debating, and it really sucks because I have to get it done very soon.
Have. To. Get. It. Done.
D:
But whatever. I really should be concentrating on debate.

Lastly!
I ordered make-up for my Joker costume on Wednesday. And it should get here in a week or so.
So I was psyched.

Okay, that's all for now. Debate in 8 hours.
Probably should prep for that.
So the rant about debate shall continue tomorrow! And it ends by 6! So that's awesome. [:

Note for the day: Never, EVER debate against people who are complete and total crackheads. They talk WAY too fast and make absolutely no sense. D:<

Oh my Cod!

It's a fish.
Ha. I know, I'm the only one who finds my jokes slightly funny. But! I live to entertain.

Weather: 68 degrees. And the sun won't fucking leave.

Okay. Where to start...

A day in the life of Sin consists of hell's beginning in 4 days. That's right, kids, you guessed it- high school! 4 days.
Is not impressed.
But we all have to do it, I suppose.

I know too many people who deserve to be burning in the depths of hell at this very moment.
And too few saints.

I'm afraid, my loyal reader, that after 14 years, the string holding my mind together is about a fraction of a centimeter from snapping completely. So watch out! C:

So, to eliminate the eminent risk of being kicked off the computer for multiple factors (e.g. my low bandwidth and awake mother), I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut this entry short.

So long and until next time!
(Tacky enough for you? Heh. That's why I'm here.)

Let's start things out with a BANG.

Weather: Cloudy and humid. At 86 degrees? Ah, guess it could be worse.

It's important to always stay away from your little sister, for the sake of staying away from blame.
It also helps when said sister is sick and you don't want to catch her illness.
Yeah, I do hate her a little right now. My miserable state is thanks to her.

Hit me with a bus, why don't you?
That's just how dreadful I feel. Damn it, Rosie, why'd your immune system choose to die on us now.

Anyway, if anyone spoke to me yesterday afternoon, they'd know I was on the brink of complete insanity from being so tired! I barely got 10 hours of sleep last week. Not the best idea, since I was being forced into working VBS at my [and by my, I generally mean my mother's] church.

Translation: I was being forced to run around with 6, 7, 8, and 9 year olds for 4 hours a day. This was made even worse added to the fact I had to get up at 7:30 every morning to do so! Fun.

But! The good thing is that I got a good 11 hours of sleep last night, and will hopefully be back on a good sleeping schedule by the time school starts. Next week.
Great for me, huh?

On another note, you all should be very jealous of your dear Sin. Because yesterday, she had the fortune of meeting the one, the only, Cat in the Hat!
We think he was gay, though. Professional dancer/choreographer? I don't know about you, but his voice clinched it for me. Great guy, though! And his acting/singing performance was amazing.
It made it even better that I was there with a friend who knew him anyway, so at least it wasn't that awkward.

Oh yes, and before I forget, I've been asked to make a very special public appearance as the Joker on Saturday night. I was pretty psyched about it. But this means I have to go out and get some latex. [that ISN'T bright blue, ha.] Ah well.
I've been told I've got a pretty wicked cosplay, though, as is. I have pictures up on deviantART and Facebook, but if you haven't already seen, here it is.


(click picture for deviation page and further description.)
Cosplaying in Harris Teeter. Eheh.
At least we know the place is Joker approved, huh? Haha!

That about wraps things up, then. Wish me luck on not having a completely dreadful time this week trying to recover from the loss of my voice and other various products of the illness I've happened upon.

Oh, and be sure to throw stones on story/artwork ideas. I'm a starving artist, here, and need poetry/story/art ideas by next week, hopefully.